They say...

that if you can deal with them as toddlers, you can deal with them as teenagers. I think I'm in for a very rough ride during Quin's teenage years.

He knows how to push all my buttons right now, and it's all I can do to not break down and yell at my child for part, if not most, of many days. Take today. Q and I were up before the kids; when they decided to grace us with their presence, Quin was in a good mood. Then I had the temerity to ask him to get into undies (and out of his dirty diaper) before eating breakfast. That started the whining. Then I told him he couldn't have animal crackers, goldfish, or cookies for breakfast. But he could have Cheerios. That made him marginally happier. Then I asked him to get dressed. Five times. The whining was pretty bad, and the tantrums started after about request #3. "No, Mama do it, Mama help me." I told him that if he was too little to get dressed by himself, that he was too little to go sledding, and that he had to put his own clothes on if he wanted to go sledding. Then the tantrums started in earnest. So. 1.5 hours after he woke up, we were finally in the car and on our way to the park. Quin played on the slides for a bit before he decided he was ready to sled. He went down a couple of times, then decided that he wanted to pull me down the hill ("Puuulllll!!" "Quin you might want to wait until you're a little bigger to pull me." "Puuullllll!!!!"). He finally wanted to ride in the sled again, and had a great time. We went back to the house, and as soon as we pulled into the garage, the whining started again. Oh, and the tantrums. We returned at 11:30, and had lunch at 12:00. In between we had two time outs, several "go ask Dada to help you," and many "you may not hit or kick your sister!"

On the plus side, he was happy to go potty before and after sledding, even if he did ask to use the "little potty" - the one that's a glorified chamber pot.

Peanut gallery

Is this better? I played a bit with the colors, and I'm not sure if I made it too monochromatic - still debating that one. It's the same look, and the reason I went with the other template was for something different. Kinda like trying a new eyeliner color - just a bit of a change. I wasn't sure about the other one, and didn't really like how it was all pushed over to the edge, but it was different, which is what I needed. I'll stop rambling now, and "save" Q and Quin from a crying Gretchen.

The "What if?" Game

What if I had stayed together with Jeff (the guy who I dated for a year, then went to Texas for exchange the year I met Q)? Would I have stayed in geology? Would I have had the guts to try for my engineering degree? Would I now have three kids? (Not that they could be nearly as wonderful as my two!) Jeff was a TV couch potato, not a bookworm (or a computer geek); how would that have influenced our relationship? Would I be divorced by now because he couldn't accept that I was (book) smarter than him? That I wasn't his ideal (short, blonde, big chested - one out of three ain't bad, right?)?

What if I had decided to go to Washington State University? I wouldn't have met Q at all. I probably would have majored in forestry (my first major was natural resources management, then it switched to geology, then I added geological engineering), and I probably would have stayed in better contact with friends from high school. BUT then I would have been closer to John the stalker. The guy who wouldn't take no for an answer, and who I should have filed a restraining order against. The guy who was convinced that I would marry him, not mind that he liked to hit the wall next to my head (OK, so he only did it once, but that's once too often for me), and have his babies (the first would be a boy, and would never even think about being gay; the next would be a girl, who could be a lesbian, but he would rather she wasn't - it's strange the things I remember). However, I would have been physically closer to my cousins, who went to WSU, as well as physically closer to my family. Would I have stayed with one of my high school boy friends?

What if I was still working full time? Would I be a better parent? Would I be floundering in guilt that I wasn't able to raise my children? Would I look forward to the kids' bedtimes as much as I currently do? I don't know if I'd be more patient - Mondays are hard for me already, and I only work about 6 hours (a long lunch break for nursing Gretchen). Would I instead be pulling my hair out and crying every night?

What if Q hadn't looked at me twice? I was fortunate that he was at the end of a souring relationship when I met him. Oh, and I was dating Jeff, who was on exchange in Texas, who would only call me when he was drunk (we had both just turned 21). But if Q's girl friend hadn't been a flake, or if they'd had a better relationship, would I have had a chance of winning his affection?

Lots of "what if's" out there. How different would our nation - heck, our world! - be if Bush hadn't been elected president? Either election. What if most Americans bothered to think for themselves instead of what was spoon fed to them through their church and the media? What if the Romans hadn't turned Christian? Would we have a space station on Mars by now if technology and science hadn't been heresy?

I'm feeling contemplative tonight. Toki's diary post started me thinking about the decisions I have made (or ignored) through my adult life. Most of my adult life has been spent with Q as a partner. (Scary, isn't it?) He's my best friend - I can talk to him about any thing, although there are certain (mostly female) subjects that he really doesn't care to listen to. Yes, I often make him listen anyways.

What in your life makes you go "huh?"