More creativity

And here's a conversation (roughly) from tonight:

Q: "What are these?"
L: "I was feeling naughty today. It was a bad day."
Q: "They look like little turds, but I bet they don't taste like turds!"
L: (gives Q a dirty look)

Ok, what part of "it's been a bad day" did you not get?? And why, knowing it was a bad day, would you compare my chocolate oatmeal cookies to turds?? I called you at 11 this morning, threatening to run away to Hawaii and leave you with the kids, and you compare my cookies to TURDS??? Ah, my life is ever so interesting....

The creativity of Q

This is part of an actual conversation I had with my husband. I am in awe. (Cut and pasted from the chat window, no editing the comments whatsoever!)

Lirri says:
where are all my plates???!!! That's right, next to your monitor! (Would you please start bringing them downstairs at night? Thanks!!)

Q says:
I can't bring the plates down at night, they're scared of the dark.

AFK??

I work all day on Mondays while Q stays home with the kids. This past Monday I came in, and Q started to stand up and asked if he could "go AF..." and then realized he was going to say "AFK." I just lost it, and couldn't stop laughing! Since when does a husband ask his wife if he can go "AFK" rather than "I need to leave the house for a bit because the kids are driving me insane and my friend has something I want to borrow"??

Hehe - I think Q plays too many computer games!

A good quote

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

- Stephen Roberts

No evil???

What the FUCK??!! We just picked up cell phones. We figured we'd pick up the cheap (!!) Net 10 phones until the new iPhones are released; this was Sat. It is now Thursday. I have been able to use my phone for maybe 5 calls, and have had battery power for MAYBE 3 hours. Customer service FINALLY got back to me, and told me to call a number. I did. It took 30 FUCKING MINUTES TO ORDER A BATTERY. She repeated everything AT LEAST 2 times. And the end result? It's going to take 5-10 days for the package to get here that contains an air bill for me to SEND THE FUCKING PHONE IN. 5-10 days for it to get to where ever it's being sent to, and an additional 5-10 days for it to be returned, NOT including the time it takes to fix the damn thing. What the hell is this for customer service??

I don't think I'll be staying with Net 10 after I use my minutes - will undoubtedly expire while the phone is being serviced. I was too pissed to ask for the minutes to be on hold while the phone is being serviced, but will have to remember to call them before sending the phone out. Did I mention that today has been a horrible day with whining and screaming children?

I kid you not, Net 10's logo is: No Bills * No Annual Contracts * No Evil

Kiss what??

We've been watching a lot of "The Little Mermaid" recently; tonight Q was singing "Kiss the Girl", and changing the words, as he's wont to do. The boy was a bit disturbed that Q was singing "kiss the squirrel" instead of "kiss the girl," and finally said "I want to hear Dada say kiss the girl." Q asked which girl, and the boy raised up his middle finger and said "this one." Now, part of this is the finger game he plays with Q (have him explain it), and he was joking with us. However, when you have a mind that hovers a bare millimeter above the gutter, it's funny as anything. I'm quietly dying of laughter, Q is trying to maintain his dignity, and the boy is completely oblivious.

It's 10 pm - do you know where your children are?

My boy is currently pounding on the door, calling out "Mama, I'm all done going night-night! I wanna come out!" A glass of port didn't help reduce the stress, nor did watching Susan get some on Desperate Housewives. I can only hope that he will stop kicking his door (albeit gently) soon. If he wakes his sister up, I may have to remove every single toy from his room (I'm sure the tantrum will be heard down in the wilds of Portland). Until then? I think I may get ready for bed, and hope that he doesn't notice my bedside lamp so that I can read until he quiets down - do you really think I can sleep through the pounding and the kicking?? Every now and then he does this, and if Q and I go to bed and are really quiet ("Sssshhhhh... we're hunting wabbits!"), he'll actually get the message. Unfortunately, I want to watch the next disk of Desperate Housewives. I wonder if he'd notice if I used headphones.... Damn you for getting me interested in this show - you know who you are, the both of you!

The good news? Q comes back tomorrow night. The bad news? I think I may have to curtail all future naps - the boy slept for about 2 hours this afternoon. Sigh. Silly boy! Naps are for moms, not kids!